S*#T My Dad Says.

My dad can be a pretty entertaining guy through email. I don't know what it is about that form of communication, but he's definitely got a knack for topics. He also has some very strong opinions about female celebrity hair styles, Subway sandwiches and life in general. Below, are some recent correspondence I've had with my dad. Enjoy!

In regards to a Chicago Tribune article about microwave popcorn:
don't eat that shit. only hot air popped.

In regards to a photo of my dog, who just had major dental surgery:
the only thing she is watching is the back of her eyelids.

In regards to the photo I sent to him of me and future Sonics owner Chris Hansen:
nice pics, u should of asked Chris Hansen if he had a place for you in his new organization. you could be the new sonics PR person. Big Bucks.

From an email entitled 'gossip':
I will give katy perry and john mayer about 2-3 months. subway is having its buy a foot long sub special on selected sandwiches. These only cost the same as the small sub. hella deal. just had one today. 

In regards to a craigslist post of these super ugly porcelain elephants:
these would look amazing in moms yard.  ha hahahahahahha  maybe a possible xmas present for her garden.

From an email entitled 'hurricane leslie':
she on her way to bermuda, gonna be a class 2 by then. I saw another pic of miley and she just looks like shit. Very unattractive. the only reason she has a boyfriend is cause she has lots of money. no more mickey mouse  stuff for her. love dad

From an email entitled 'celeb gossip' (do you see a trend here?):
First of all,let me say that miley's haircut looks like shit. Second, I noticed that taylor swift has a new 18yr old boyfriend, I figure that should last a little longer than  some of her previous liaisons since he is only 18. I give that one no more than 1 year max before he figures that out. He will be starstruck at first but that will change and of course little taylor will write another song about another broken relationship. Poor girl, she must be hard to get along with, it can't be all of the guys fault because we are never wrong. love dad